I just read an article that declares our writing voice is drawn from our life experiences. It is shaped the same way as our view points and opinions. I agree.

Though I haven't done the self exploration that would shed light on what makes me me, I believe I wouldn't be the person I am today; hopeful, yet cynical; driven, yet a dreamer, a study in contradictions, if my young life had not played out as it did. For the record I'm rather happy with myself.

Everyone has baggage, it molds and shapes the way we interact with the world. The trick is being able to realize who you are, and to toss the things you don't like.

For instance, if you grew up with a parent that grunted over dinner, a behavior you despise. (Yes, I know people who've had such a childhood) Then you find yourself grunting over dinner. You can do one of two things. Either continue grunting and pass it on to your kids, or you can stop and chew in silence.

Our lives make us who we are, as people, as writers. It's up to us to deside if we accept it or we make a change. Hopefully for the better.

Don't be afraid

There is someone in my life that should be a writer. He is talented, both in story creation and writing itself. When I pressed him as to why he isn't even trying to write, (writing at a snail's pace is still writing) I was told that he is afraid to fail.

He hangs too much importance on his success. It appears to me that this is paralyzing him. He is afraid to try because if he tried and wasn't able to get published it would mean that he was the ultimate failure. Something he knows he wouldn't be able to recover from.

He knows himself. This is a man that is unable to play board games with a child because his ego is so wrapped up in the game that losing would devastate him.

But for the rest of you...

Don't let fear paralyze you. Try, fail and keep trying. We learn from failure. The ultimate failure is not trying.

Root Canal

This morning my husband got a root canal. A long time ago in a state far far away, he had a severe trauma to his mouth and unbeknownst to him it killed the tooth. Given all the horror stories and the phrase "it's like getting a root canal" we figured I should go with him just in case.

The funny thing is, the experience wasn't painful at all. According to my husband, of course, the only pain was from the injection of the pain killer.

Being myself, I peppered the dentist with questions. She answered them pleasantly, explaining what she was doing as she went. Dental work may play a part in a future novel either as an activity or as a profession.

As for my husband, he said he feels uncomfortable around the injection site, but otherwise feels fine.

I've found the cure. :)

A fast food lunch with my son. After taking him to the doc we grabbed fast food on the way back to school. We ate in the car and had a nice conversation. I feel much better.

I still have all the same stressers as before, but now I feel as if I can handle them. It's amazing.

Stress is an odd thing. It can be caused by virtually anything and can have any symptoms. Have you looked at a list of possible symptoms of stress lately? They run the gambit from tooth grinding to bowel issues to nightmares.

And anything can cause undue stress. Undue meaning stress that you or I just can't handle. Lately I've been under undue stress.

I am a married mother of two. All the mothers will raise their hands and say well yeah, there's your stress right there. But I'm handling that alright.

I also work full time, and keep the house. Well there it is, right? Nope I've been doing that for years and no issues until now.

I'm a writer. (not published yet) but I try to at least write a page a day. This is actually the most relaxing part of my day, so that has nothing to do with it really.

So where is the stress coming from?

Uncertainty.

To spite assurances to the contrary, I feel as though my day job is in jeopardy. I'm being asked to train others in what I do. I understand the reason and if it were my company I would do the same thing, but the logic of their actions does little to assuage the niggling feeling that when the people I'm training (both great people by the way) get the hang of things I will be told quite politely that I am no longer needed and asked to leave.

My husband's job is also uncertain. I've mentioned his heroic nature in an earlier posting. Well he is honest too. Where he works donations are taken on a regular basis and he has reason to believe these donations are being stolen.

These beliefs are shared by other workers including the district manager. However this person is not being chastised and is not being let go. This is intolerable. He wishes to leave this employment, but as we need his income he can't. So, his misery adds to my own.

I am stressed.

I am hoping that this inventory may make things easier to deal with. I need to find a way to deal.

So I post these questions to the void: What do you get stressed out about? How do you deal with it?